Goddamn kids.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
10/15/2020 at 20:49 • Filed to: Children are the future

I’m ready for your bullshit.

DISCUSSION (44)

InFierority Complex > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 20:54

Right. For the kids.

facw > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 20:54

But do you have your mask, face shield, gloves, and tyvek suit?

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 21:00

I honestly don’t know if I’m going to have 0 trick or treaters or 600, since everyone wants out of their house.

I only bought candy I’d be willing to eat if it’s the former.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 21:02

I will not be participating in trick or treating this year, because having kids go door to door during a pandemic is rather silly.

SmugAardvark > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 21:05

We’re going lights out at our house on Halloween, and we’ll just watch TV in the guest room in the back. But we have candy for some reason, so I’ll probably just eat it.

E90M3 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 21:11

Children are the future, of me getting a 997 turbo, why do you think my soon to be fiancée is a pediatrician .

sony1492 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 21:12

Honor system?

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 21:12

You think they’re coming?

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 21:13

Gimme those airheads and nobody has to get hurt

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > sony1492
10/15/2020 at 21:17

12' delivery tube

smobgirl > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 21:17

I think I’m going to put some out in a bowl but last year I only had maybe 12 kids so I’m only getting candy that I like. Or maybe I’ll be a jerk and get snack size cheezits so the first kid doesn’t steal all of my stash...

Kiltedpadre > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 21:22

Two weeks out how much will make it?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > smobgirl
10/15/2020 at 21:24

Brings me back to high school

Roadkilled > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 21:29

Candy catapult ?

We have a second floor balcony over the front porch. We may be tossing candy down to the kids from 12 feet up.

facw > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind
10/15/2020 at 21:38

So candy for 600 then?

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 21:44

It’s cancelled in my area.

MonkeePuzzle > Roadkilled
10/15/2020 at 21:54

how did you not call it a candypult?

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 22:02

Just eat all the candy yourself and you won’t have to worry about the kids

someassemblyrequired > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 22:20

You forgot enough Lysol to fully fumigate 200 kids

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Roadkilled
10/15/2020 at 22:31

Basically what I’m doing. No balcony but I have a window above the porch

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 22:35

Decent bait. You might even catches a few. If you need any recipes then you just have to ask...

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Kiltedpadre
10/15/2020 at 22:41

Maybe half

[glares at wife]

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two
10/15/2020 at 22:42

You can't cancel Satan

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever
10/15/2020 at 22:42

I will bet I have no less than 200 kids come knocking

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > smobgirl
10/15/2020 at 22:46

If someone gave out Cheez-its when I was a kid, I'd be sure to go to that house like 20 times. My favorite cracker hands down.

boredalways > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 23:01

Should've purchased the candy in Indy. Was in a Kroger the other day and the greeting signage read “50% Off All Halloween Candy”.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 23:08

I’m betting around 10 for us

Chariotoflove > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 23:12

Our neighborhood is doing it. It’s one of the few things that can be done safely. We are having a community-wide competition for most creative candy delivery system. My original plan diagrammed a ballista-based delivery system, but the wife vetoed it. Killjoy.

LastFirstMI is my name > Roadkilled
10/15/2020 at 23:13

I saw something similar in New Orleans.

koawaft1 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
10/15/2020 at 23:20

Its silly all the time. That's the point.

Wacko > Spaceball-Two
10/15/2020 at 23:20

Here too

Chariotoflove > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 23:23

Kinja'd!!!

fintail > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 23:46

I hope I get none in my new place, as I already consumed by bag of Reeses pumpkins.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/15/2020 at 23:54

Kinja'd!!!

My random mix of stuff arrived the other day. I honestly have no idea if kids will come or not so I figured I would get the weird candy I like in case there is a ton left.

interstate366, now In The Industry > Chariotoflove
10/15/2020 at 23:57

Fun fact: Margaret has been pulling this on Death for the past 220 years.

Chariotoflove > interstate366, now In The Industry
10/15/2020 at 23:59

Margaret is a smart cookie.

66P1800inpieces > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/16/2020 at 00:16

When I moved into my house I started buying two bag of candy, 5 kids showed up and I ate a bag of candy. That was a couple years ago. Last year I bought 1 bag, no kids show, I still got a bag. I don’t have high hopes or the desire to interact with people.

66P1800inpieces > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/16/2020 at 00:16

Serious?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > 66P1800inpieces
10/16/2020 at 00:20

Yes, my work gets shipments of metal extrusions in 12' or 14' lengths that come in tubes.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/16/2020 at 01:16

I’m sure Twitter would try.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/16/2020 at 01:19

I did this back in the day and the kids didn’t come. Do you know how hard it is to eat 200 full size Kit Kat bars?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
10/16/2020 at 01:30

Don't you mean, how easy?

onlytwowheels > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/16/2020 at 05:24

This will be my 8th Halloween at my current residence. I will have zero kiddos seeking tricks and/or treats this year, same as the seven prior years. Living in the sticks means a community event is the norm , like trunk or treat at the elementar y school or church parking lot. I don’t think either one of those is happening this year though.......

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/16/2020 at 10:35

You’ve clearly never tried to eat that many. You can eat like 2-3 at a time, and you’re pretty much tapped out for the day. It ends up sitting in your cupboard for years as you grow to completely avoid the damned things. At least, that’s what happened to me.